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Latasha's cat, Beau

The Pets of Uncanny Content

4/02/21

Uncanny Update

Written by: JESS HAMMONS

This is a very serious blog post. We are always looking for ways to improve our client services and give you what you’ve been asking for. 

So, here is a very special post… about the furry (and non-furry) friends in the Uncanny Content team’s lives. You all loved our Cats & Canines of Uncanny Content post on Instagram, and have even shared serious feedback with us on our lack of cat pics. So… we’re just giving the people what they want.

Enjoy!

Latasha’s pets

Beau

Title: The Most Handsome Prince

Skills: climbing up furniture and people using every claw at his disposal, finding the one fabric-covered or carpeted surface available to puke on 

Likes: licking humans’ plates clean, chewing plants he definitely shouldn’t be chewing, meowing at the closed bedroom door at 1 am 

Dislikes: being told to get off the counter, non-toxic plants 

Fun Fact: Used to shower with his dad every morning when he was a kitten. By choice.

Kiki

Title: The Witch of the Dark

Skills: knowing exactly when it’s time for her mom to do yoga, appearing out of thin air, having the cutest meow in the world

Likes: the yoga mat, any food that she is not supposed to eat, hiding under the couch for what appears to be days on end

Dislikes: being called anything other than “kitty kitty” — why she named herself Kiki

Fun Fact: Will only talk to Mom, and will not meow for Dad at all.

Zoey

Title: Sister Wife

Skills: standing like a parrot on her dad’s shoulder, drooling over her dad’s shoulder, living on her dad’s shoulder 

Likes: her dad

Dislikes: anything that stands in the way of her dad

Fun Fact: Had kittens on her dad (for real), and fell from an 18-foot loft without damaging herself beyond repair.

Webster

Title: Prancer the Dancer

Skills: pacing for long hours with his mom, having multiple sets of teeth, nimbly recovering when his blind ass falls off the bed or porch

Likes: his giant blue dog toy, sleeping between Mom and Dad, his soft fuzzy bed 

Dislikes: being ignored, when Mom won’t share her pita bread

Fun Fact: Frequently falls asleep so deeply, his parents fear he has finally died.

Clyde

Title: The Old Man

Skills: injuring himself after barely moving, eating until he is sick, snuggling his dad’s head

Likes: his stuffed tree trunk & squirrel toy set, food freshly warmed in the microwave, belly scratches 

Dislikes: exercise, his dog brother, any deviation from his carefully arranged schedule

Fun Fact: Broke his hip trying to catch a toy when he was 5, and has cost more money than all other 5 other Latasha’s pets combined (including the one who died).

Jessica’s pet 

Kaylee

Title: Assistant Writer & RBF Queen

Skills: screaming for attention during Zoom calls, taking 5-hour long naps, sunbathing 

Likes: blankets, spinach, and crunchy snacks like chips and crackers 

Dislikes: other animals, strangers trying to pet her (please stop)

Fun Fact: Named after Kaywinnet Lee “Kaylee” Frye from Firefly. Also has an adorable half-tail thanks to her Manx/Maine Coon heritage.

Kylie’s pets

Bentley

Title: Guard Dog 

Skills: being way too smart for his own good

Likes: barking at anything that moves, cleaning up the morsels that his sister drops, taking his sweet time to eat dinner just because he knows it annoys everyone else 

Dislikes: the vacuum (gross)

Fun Fact: Aspires to be a professional scent dog, but for now, works as an amateur smelling any and all Amazon packages to make sure they’re safe. 

Sophie

Title: Diva

Skills: refusing to walk with Dad because she likes Mom best

Likes: lounging in her bed, staring at Mom, and eating anything she gets handed to her while laying in bed and staring at Mom

Dislikes: seeing other dogs outside, not seeing Mom 

Fun Fact: Will come to the refrigerator for an ice cube when it’s opened. Every. Single. Time.

Mace

Title: Couch Potato 

Skills: pretending he can’t see or hear you when he’s called inside 

Likes: meeting new humans and forcing them to show him affection whether they want to or not, scarfing down his food and then throwing it up, basking in the sunshine and letting it melt away all his problems

Dislikes: loud noises (who has time for thunder??)

Fun Fact: Mom and Dad offered to foster him and ended up falling in love with him the minute he walked in the door!  

Kristin’s pets

Sargent Peppers

Title: Sargent, obviously

Skills: being a lover, not a fighter 

Likes: oatmeal, humans, dinner time, his stuffed animals, forts, being carried to bed

Dislikes: when he’s left all alone for any length of time, snow, Halloween costumes 

Fun Fact: He’s for sure an Enneagram 9.

Penny Lane

Title: Queen

Skills: once caught a baby rabbit and was very proud of herself

Likes: long bike rides in the park with Ma, Fantastic Mr. Fox, men’s laps, her independence

Dislikes: being picked up, when her dry food plate is empty, the vacuum

Fun Fact: She asks for more food by quietly sitting next to you and staring into your soul.

Ashley’s pet

Collin

Titles: CEO of Teenage Angst; Dog Napper, PhD

Skills: finding the squeakiest toy the *moment* Mom is on a Zoom call

Likes: kisses, head scratches, belly rubs, doggy day camp, sunbathing, peanut butter, eating mulch

Dislikes: when Mom doesn’t let him eat mulch

Fun fact: Recently perfected the art of “sitting” without his butt actually touching the ground.

Jen’s pets

Kona

Title: King of the Castle

Skills: providing nose bites for 5 am wake up calls, late night zoomies, being naturally more photogenic than most humans 

Likes: cuddling for hours, big stretches, and lasers 

Dislikes: delivery drivers, locked doors that can’t be pushed open, when Mom calls him chonky 

Fun Fact: Acts tough around the dog but is deathly afraid of the sounds a running Keurig makes.

Perry

Title: Unlicensed Household Therapist

Skills: running at the speed of light, annoying the cats, hitching rides on Mom’s shoulder 

Likes: sunbathing, juicy worms, and fresh salads 

Dislikes: people who knock on his glass, overcast days, and bath time 

Fun Fact: Sleeps with a Buddha statue every night and rages if it is removed from his tank.

Marley

Title: Court Jester

Skills: supervising in the kitchen, holding conversations entirely in barks, destroying toys in 5 minutes flat 

Likes: BarkBox delivery day, running unleashed at the park, and peanut butter

Dislikes: fireworks and being ignored

Fun Fact: Won’t drink from the water bowl unless it has ice cubes.

Mackenzie’s pet

Lux

Title: Back Scratcher; Posh Princess; proper preferred Title is Lady Luxington of Guildshire

Skills: prancing, waking up the house at 6 am (on the dot), and licking her butthole in the background all Zoom calls

Likes: mashed potato, being in charge, early mornings

Dislikes: people giving her attention when she didn’t specifically ask for the attention (consent is important!), boops on the nose, doors that are closed

Fun Fact: Loves mashed potato so much she will run into the kitchen when she *hears* the bag of potatoes being opened.

Laurie’s pet

Title: “Oh my god, has anybody watered the plant?!?”

Skills: resilience, greenness, not dying

Likes: indirect sun and a little bit of water once in a while

Dislikes: NOT THAT MUCH WATER! *pffffffft pthoo-pthoo-pthoo*
Fun Fact: Knows the theme song to Schitt’s Creek. She can’t sing it, but knows when it’s on.

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